Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Comparison Essay - Rewrite

Football and relationships…now most people would not find any comparison between the two, but for me the comparison is easy. I am a huge football fan (some might even say fanatic) and I think at times I have a relationship not only with my boyfriend but also with the New England Patriots. I love both of them (sometimes one more than the other – not saying which) and at times they both create the same feelings in me. So most of the time whether I am talking about a New England Patriots football game or my relationship with my boyfriend, you could substitute one name for the other and still get the same statement. They both can excite me, make me happy and at times stress me to the max.

One way they are the same is that they both can be very stressful. Watching the New England Patriots play a tough nail-biter of a game is stressful. It makes me upset to my stomach, makes my hands sweat, and at times I have to cover my eyes. On the same note, my relationship has been stressful at times too. For instance, recently my boyfriend was having some trouble at work and that created some stress in our relationship. When this was happening, I had those same feelings…upset stomach, sweaty hands, and wanting to go bury my head because I didn’t know what to say. Thankfully though this is not the norm for my relationship whereas it is for most of the New England Patriots games, right to the end nail-biters and win it by a field goal.

Another way they are both similar to me is I love the New England Patriots and when it is football season I cannot wait until Sunday, it is definitely my happiest day of the week. My feelings for my boyfriend are the same, I love him and when I am with him I am definitely the happiest. He recently was away on a golfing trip for a week and the whole week he was gone I just kept waiting for the day he would be back. When that day came and I went to the airport, I was so excited to see him I had butterflies in my belly. That is the way football season is too, I count the days until Sunday and then just before the game I get that same nervous belly feeling.

And last but certainly not least, they both can generate heart-pounding excitement. When the Patriots play, I love the physical part of the game. My favorite player is a defensive player and I just love it when they sack the other team’s quarterback. When you know the team is going to make that big physical play, your heart is pounding so hard from all the excitement you think it is going to come right out of your chest. My relationship is the same the physical aspect is the best. When he just reaches out and holds by hand or taps me on the butt when he walks by, it still makes my heart race and if you don’t have that in a relationship how boring it would be. The same with football, if there wasn’t a physical aspect to the game, it would be pretty boring to watch.

I love watching football no matter how stressful it is and I will continue to count days until game time (131 days till kickoff) and the more physical the better, as long as no one gets hurt. I love my relationship too no matter how stressful it is, I will always want him around and definitely the more physical the better. Hard to believe we have been together almost five years and he still makes me feel like I have butterflies in my belly. Hopefully it will always be that way with him and with football!

1 comment:

johngoldfine said...

Okay, I'll take it. Here are two minor points: the plan of development in the last sentence of graf 1 ought to follow the order of the support grafs--it should read: "They both can stress me to the max, make me happy and excite me."

Second minor point: in the support grafs, you start each with football, move on to boyfriend--so far, so good--but then in each you loop back to football in the end. I don't know why, but that looping back strikes me as not-quite-right. All one, then all the other, then done with the graf is the cleaner way to go.